Monday, December 31, 2012
End of year 2012 Writing
This has been an unexpected year. Feels a bit like I have lost time and a bit like I have gained perspective/wisdom. A pretty good trade.
Also lost about 30lbs, a first for me. Gained a new perspective on my love for Terry as we both struggled with health issues and a new sense that our community in Austin will hold us up in times of difficulty. New technology makes life lighter and allowed more writing and communication, as well as more fun.
As I continue to struggle with constricting my commitments - saying yes only to the things that give me energy and joy - I find myself talking about it less but still feeling self pressured by the amount of work.
As I feel lighter and stronger and healthier, I still struggle with sleeping and eating habits. On the other hand I am more relaxed. I recognize a bit of manic in me, planning big and not coming through because I can't make it perfect.
As I sit here quietly, though, I find myself full of joy and gratitude at being alive, relatively healthy, and looking forward to 2013 with more renewed energy than I thought. I've often felt I waste a great deal of time compared to others, that my preparation for doing good is taking too long. Maybe that is just how it is for me and I need to remember that when I take the time, I can be present to be a force for good.
As the year closes and I make my list of what must still be done today, I'm reminded of the words of Julian of Norwich - "all will be well". Perhaps not in my lifetime but bit by bit, losing and gaining, slipping back and volting forward I believe peace on earth, love and good will among all its creatures, is possible and well worth the effort, especially as one friend among friends.